Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.

 

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

 

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

 

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

 

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

 

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

 

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

 

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

 

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

 

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour..
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

 

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

 

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

 

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

 

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

 

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

 

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

 

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

 

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They  make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

 

marvin the martian 7s jordan 7 for the love of the game marvin the martian 7s metallic silver 5s jordan 3 for the love of the game 7s lebron 12 all star teal 4s Seattle Seahawks Jerseys nike kd 7 wings lebron 12 all star lebron 12 court vision oreo 4s jordan 4 laster foamposites all star jordan 4 oreo foamposites all star New England Patriots jersey sale oreo 4s foamposites aqua Tom Brady Jersey lebron 12 all star jordan 7 for the love of the game Tom Brady Jersey foamposites aqua laster 4s jordan 5 metallic silver foamposites red october foamposites mirror Tom Brady Jersey chicago 10s Patriots Jersey Tom Brady Jersey jordan 10 bulls over broadway jordan 4 laster marvin the martian 7s for the love of the game 7s jordan 10 chicago jordan 10 chicago for the love of the game 7s for the love of the game 7s foamposites red october jordan 7 marvin the martian lebron 12 all star oreo 4s nike kd 7 aunt pearl jordan 10 chicago jordan 10 lady liberty jordan 4 teal Tom Brady Jersey teal 4s jordan 10 chicago foamposites all star foamposites mirror foamposites red october ftlog 7s metallic silver 5s Russell Wilson Jersey youth jordan 10 lady liberty foamposites metallic gold foamposites all star patriots super bowl jersey bulls over broadway 10s marvin the martian 7s michael kors outlet teal 4s oreo 4s marvin the martian 7s jordan 10 lady liberty Tom Brady Jersey Seahawks Jerseys foamposites mirror nike kd vii wings foamposites all star michael kors jordan 10 chicago foamposites metallic gold bulls over broadway 10s jordan 10 chicago New England Patriots Jersey jordan 7 for the love of the game Seahawks Jerseys cheap jordan 7 ftlog chicago 10s marvin the martian 7s jordan 7 ftlog Tom Brady Jersey New England Patriots Jersey cheap teal 4s jordan 4 teal Seattle Seahawks Jerseys jordan 10 chicago Seattle Seahawks Jerseys jordan 4 oreo teal 4s teal 4s jordan 4 oreo ftlog 7s chicago 10s louis vuitton outlet ftlog 7s jordan 4 laster foamposites mirror foamposites aqua lebron 12 court vision jordan 3 jordan 5 metallic silver lebron 12 all star lady liberty 10s jordan 4 teal New England Patriots Jersey cheap nike kd vii wings jordan 7 for the love of the game Russell Wilson Jersey Patriots Jersey lebron 12 court vision foamposites dark obsidian jordan 4 teal laster 4s lebron 12 all star lebron 12 court vision Seahawks Jerseys jordan 4 teal Seahawks Jerseys louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet foamposites metallic gold New England Patriots Jersey cheap jordan 7 ftlog jordan 10 chicago jordan 10 lady liberty lebron 12 all star metallic silver 5s jordan 7 marvin the martian michael kors outlet Tom Brady Jersey New England Patriots Jersey ftlog 7s Russell Wilson Jersey youth jordan 5 metallic silver lebron 12 all star foamposites dark obsidian michael kors bags foamposites all star foamposites mirror marvin the martian 7s laster 4s New England Patriots Jersey foamposites mirror foamposites dark obsidian New England Patriots jersey sale jordan 3 Russell Wilson Jersey youth bulls over broadway 10s foamposites metallic gold New England Patriots jordan 7 marvin the martian Seahawks Jerseys foamposites dark obsidian foamposites mirror nike kd vii aunt pearl foamposites aqua laster 4s Tom Brady Jersey jordan 3 New England Patriots Jersey chicago 10s louis vuitton outlet for the love of the game 7s jordan 10 chicago lebron 12 court vision laster 4s patriots super bowl jersey laster 4s foamposites aqua New England Patriots jersey sale Russell Wilson Jersey oreo 4s jordan 7 for the love of the game lebron 12 all star New England Patriots Jersey cheap nike kd vii wings ftlog 7s bulls over broadway 10s lady liberty 10s Tom Brady Jersey laster 4s Seahawks Jerseys cheap lebron 12 court vision jordan 3 jordan 7 ftlog jordan 7 ftlog marvin the martian 7s jordan 4 oreo nike kd 7 wings jordan 4 teal Tom Brady Jersey youth nike kd 7 wings foamposites mirror Darrelle Revis Jersey nike kd vii aunt pearl jordan 7 marvin the martian foamposites red october New England Patriots jersey lebron 12 court vision New England Patriots Jersey louis vuitton outlet michael kors bags lebron 12 all star teal 4s jordan 7 for the love of the game Russell Wilson Jersey New England Patriots jersey michael kors bags New England Patriots jersey foamposites mirror jordan 4 teal jordan 10 lady liberty Russell Wilson Jersey Tom Brady Jersey youth for the love of the game 7s lebron 12 court vision foamposites red october ftlog 7s bulls over broadway 10s Seahawks Jerseys New England Patriots Jersey lebron 12 all star Seattle Seahawks ftlog 7s chicago 10s Seahawks Jerseys foamposites red october teal 4s foamposites aqua jordan 4 laster jordan 5 metallic silver laster 4s jordan retro 3 New England Patriots Jersey coach outlet beats by dre cheap Michael Kors outlet jordan retro 7 Michael Kors outlet nike coach outlet jordan 7 Michael Kors outlet beats by dre jordan retro 11 Michael Kors outlet canada goose outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 7 jordan retro 7 jordan retro 7 jordan retro 7 coach outlet nike louis vuitton sac nike free run moncler jackets moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet nike air max nike free run moncler jackets jordan 12 beats by dre cheap louis vuitton outlet coach outlet louis vuitton outlet beats by dre cheap beats by dre cheap sac louis vuitton nike air max uggs outlet uggs outlet jordan retro 7 canada goose canada goose beats by dre coach factory nike canada goose retro jordans canada goose jordan 7 jordan retro 7 legend blue 11s canada goose retro jordans legend blue 11s coach outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 7 nike nike jordan retro 12 jordan retro 12 louis vuitton outlet nike air max nike free run coach outlet nike free run moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet moncler jackets moncler jackets jordan retro 12 louis vuitton sac coach outlet louis vuitton outlet beats by dre cheap coach outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 12 louis vuitton jordan retro 7 legend blue 11s beats by dre jordan retro 11 legend blue 11s beats by dre cheap jordan retro 7 Michael Kors outlet nike retro jordans legend blue 11s canada goose outlet retro jordans canada goose outlet canada goose outlet retro jordans coach outlet retro jordans nike nike beats by dre cheap moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton sac beats by dre cheap nike air max jordan 12 louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 12 coach outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 12 louis vuitton sac nike air max jordan retro 12 beats by dre cheap nike free run louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton coach outlet canada goose retro jordans canada goose jordan 7 jordan retro 7 legend blue 11s canada goose retro jordans legend blue 11s coach outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 7 nike nike canada goose outlet canada goose outlet retro jordans jordan 7 canada goose outlet retro jordans coach outlet louis vuitton outlet nike free run moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet moncler jackets moncler jackets jordan retro 12 louis vuitton sac coach outlet louis vuitton outlet beats by dre cheap coach outlet beats by dre cheap jordan retro 12 louis vuitton louis vuitton sac beats by dre cheap beats by dre cheap nike free run Michael Kors outlet nike Michael Kors outlet jordan retro 7 jordan retro 7 canada goose outlet jordan retro 7 Michael Kors outlet canada goose retro jordans jordan retro 11 retro jordans nike Michael Kors outlet nike coach factory legend blue 11s beats by dre jordan 7 beats by dre cheap louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 12 louis vuitton outlet beats by dre cheap nike air max nike free run uggs outlet louis vuitton sac beats by dre cheap moncler jackets jordan retro 12 jordan retro 12 moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet coach outlet moncler jackets jordan retro 12 moncler jackets nike air max louis vuitton outlet nike jordan retro 7 coach outlet coach outlet Michael Kors outlet Michael Kors outlet nike beats by dre cheap nike Michael Kors outlet Michael Kors outlet Michael Kors outlet legend blue 11s Michael Kors outlet retro jordans jordan retro 7 Michael Kors outlet coach outlet jordan retro 7 canada goose outlet beats by dre cheap beats by dre cheap nike air max jordan 12 nike air max moncler jackets moncler jackets coach outlet jordan retro 12 coach outlet nike air max nike free run uggs outlet beats by dre cheap beats by dre cheap louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 12 moncler jackets louis vuitton outlet air jordan 4 jordan 11 louis vuitton outlet michael kors outlet louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 11 louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 11 jordan retro 4 jordan 4 jordan retro 4 louis vuitton outlet michael kors outlet louis vuitton outlet jordan retro 11 jordan retro 4 jordan 11 jordan retro 4 louis vuitton outlet air jordans michael kors outlet michael kors outlet canada goose outlet jordan 4 uggs outlet michael kors outlet jordan 10 red cements canada goose outlet air jordans jordan 4 jordan retro 7 jordan 11 michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 canada goose sale canada goose sale air jordans michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 jordan retro 13 jordan 4 jordan 11 jordan retro 11 louis vuitton outlet michael kors outlet jordan retro 4 michael kors outlet french blue 7s air jordan 4 jordan retro 4 michael kors outlet jordan 11 jordan 4 michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 canada goose sale louis vuitton louis vuitton outlet michael kors outlet uggs outlet michael kors outlet jordan 4 jordan 13 jordan 4 michael kors outlet michael kors outlet michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet jordan 11 jordan 11 louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet air jordan 4 jordan retro 4 jordan 4 oreo jordan retro 4 jordan 11 jordan 11 legend blue jordan retro 11 legend blue 11s jordan retro 11 louis vuitton outlet uggs on sale canada goose sale jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet uggs outlet jordan retro 11 french blue 7s michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 jordan retro 11 air jordan 4 jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet michael kors outlet jordan retro 4 michael kors outlet jordan retro 4 michael kors outlet french blue 7s jordan retro 4 red cements 10s jordan retro 4 jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet air jordan 11 jordan retro 11 jordan retro 4 jordan 7 french blue jordan 11 uggs outlet jordan retro 11 louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet Legend blue 11s jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet michael kors outlet jordan 11 jordan 4 jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet uggs outlet jordan 7 french blue uggs outlet canada goose sale red cements 10s jordan retro 4 michael kors outlet jordan retro 4 air jordans uggs outlet louis vuitton outlet canada goose sale louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet jordan 11 jordan 11 michael kors outlet jordan 11 air jordan 4 canada goose outlet jordan 11 legend blue louis vuitton outlet jordan 11 jordan retro 4 jordan retro 11 michael kors outlet jordan 13 louis vuitton outlet